| London Roolz |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|11:33 am] |
OMFG I <3 London. like soooooo much. the people on the program suck because they are all Long Island Japs, but my friends are cool. but I feel like im the only one out of my friends, besides Alyssa and Rye that are enjoying it. I've been the only positive person out of my little group. Alyssa and Rye have also, but its not enough.
Oh yeah. Alyssa's cool. She goes to Pine Crest so now I have another friend at home that i can chill with. She lives right across the street in Seasons, and I never met her before. Its amazing how small and yet so big Boca is ya know? Shes such a nerd! HAHAHA! I mean, she doesnt look like a nerd but shes one of me and Ruthie! haha. Nerds at heart. She looks like a really big bitch though cuz she has this really dark black short hair. But shes super nice and extremely fun.
Caitlyn and Eric's pda is getting DISGUSTING! lol. Its really not, but considering that its Caitlyna and Eric that we're talking about, its kind of weird. Im starting to get used to it though.
Attsmans cool. Hes a funny kid. He goes to Pine Crest as well so I have another friend to hang out with in Boca. :) He also lives really close to me. Hes really good friends with J GRIZZLE, as he calls Joey Gross. LOL. Hes really chill which is awesome.
The girls across the hall from me are pretty sweet. They all live in DC. There going with me to see Funeral for a Friend tonight.
And then, theres Phoebe. Shes 100% AWESOME. She has a lot of energy and is super nice. Shes coming with me tonight as well.
Rye lives in California, but he used to live in London, and now hes attending Reformed School in Maine or New Hampshire, I forget. He used to be a bad kid, but hes fixed himself now. Hes a baddass. HA. except he wont do anything against the rools because if he gets kicked out, hes going to Wilderness. Hes an AWESOME kid. Its cool because hes the hottest guy in the program and hes in my group of friends. WOOT! We got his eyebrow peirced the other day, it looks Hott.
On Saturday night we went to a hooka bar and I kept smoking and smoking. (BY THE WAY EMILY IF YOU ARE READING THIS, HOOOKA IS NOT A DRUG!!!) NOT A GOOD IDEA. I puked everywhere and then got harassed by like 5 creepy ass Arab guys. NOT COOL. I puked out side, and then in the bathroom.
I <3 Converse. there are so many more kinds here then in the states, and they are sooo much cooler.
I got 2 more peircings in my ear and they are AWESOME.
I just hope devin is having a good time. I know she misses Bill A LOT, but i really want her to have a good time. I know I am.
My room here is such a freakin mess. I need to fix it up. LOL, but living in my own room means that I dont have to clean up for any one right? Thats why having a single dorm can be better. I guess.
I miss Ruthie, Lauren, krista and Sarah (and Joe). :( But I really miss Ruthie. I also really miss Vermont: Dustin, Becca, Stacy, and Ryan.
Ahh I also miss Sona, and Jess, considering THEY LEFT EARLY!
I wish Jess saw me fall off the boat the other day. She would still be laughing as we speak.
I sware the kids from NY and NJ are COMPLETELY RETARTED. They have hickie contests, and this one kid had a hicky that took over his whole entire neck. It was disgusting yet funny. But I hate everyone from NY and NJ except Dustin, Stacey and becca. Me and my friends here hate them so much and were so rude to them. lol. they officially suck. |
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| London |
[Jul. 1st, 2005|05:02 pm] |
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London. the city itself is amazing. the program, not to keen on, yet atleast. Anyways, theres this one really hott emo guy. I mean, not all girls will think hes hott, but hes definetely my type. Some girls do think hes hott though which makes harder competition. Well see what happens. |
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| Summer |
[Jun. 23rd, 2005|09:27 am] |
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Summer so far has been great. Ive had three different hair colors in less than a month. Dirty blonde, to blonde blonde, to dark brown. Ive finally found the right color and my hair looks HOTT brown! woot. So anyways, Ive been hanging out a lot with Sarah and Joe lately and im really sad that they are going to be leaving. They are such awesome people and Im so happy for them! Im glad I met joe because hes so awesome. and sarah is AMAZING. I'm going up to UF today for a couple days. Im excited. I come back like either saturday or sunday. and then I leave for London on Thursday. Im excited, but extremely scared. Im sure it will be amazing though. Anyways, I need to go pack. |
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| pissed |
[Jun. 8th, 2005|01:26 pm] |
I died my hair blond. yes, I look like a freak, but im going to get it fixed. The color is obviously pissing me off but what really makes me sad is that i did it out of pure bordem. I've always been 100 percent happy with myself, and ive always been happy with what god has given me. But now when I look in the mirror, It's scary because i dont see myself. I see a person trying to be someone who they aren't, what i've been fighting all along. Anyways, my hair will be not so weird in about a week so until then, noone say "what possessed you to do this", or "i told you so", because im already as insecure as I'm going to get. I was never this insecure before, wait...i have years ago when i was fat HA. gaaah. Since this whole hair dying episode, i've come to see who I really am, and I love myself. WOOT. Now here are some facts about me.
-I love chocolate chip pancakes, but i can only eat about two of any kind of pancake before i get nauseaus
-My favorite movie was Casper, and today, its Team America-World Police
-I break out before i get my yoohoo
-i can crack my ankles
-i realized that i treasure my hair more than any part of my body (and ive screwd that up FOR NOW)
-I like to play with my bellybutton sometimes.
-i cant sleep when its light outside
-i tend to overreact
-im extremely lazy when it comes to school work
-i smile a lot, sometimes way too much
-today when i was sad about my hair, i thought of new born strawberry blond kittens playing in the grass. (i actually did...corny eh?)
-I only need about 3 hours of sleep to function
-I'm a messy person, a pig. I really should clean my car and my desk, but mostly my car
-i tend to value friedships more then they should be valued.
-i can be flaky
-i try not to judge/ classify people, but i sometimes do
-I can be a gealous bitch
-Im scared of the future
-I am an insomniac
-i sometimes go to tanning beds even though skin cancer runs in my family and i told my mom i wouldnt
-I am a PROUD virgin
-I WANT to have sex
-my favorite foods are marshmellows and cookiedough
-I try to be nice to everyone
-everyone is somewhat fake, and im not going to deny that i can be too
-i have talked about people behind their backs
-i forgive people way too easily
-i miss a good friend even though she stabbed me in the back and wasnt a good friend to begin with. i need to fogive her.
-I eat sushi way too much.
-i ate an actual meal from mcdonalds yesterday for the first time in about five years, and loved it.
-i try to stay away from fast food.
-i excersize A LOT. sometimes too much
-i dont loose weight because i EAT a shitload.
-i hate the dentist because floride makes me gag.
-when i get a strep test, i bite the doctors fingers
-I am not a whore
-i havent hooked up with too many people, but enough for me
-I strive for unreasonable goals
ALTHOUGH
i underestimate myself a lot
-i have served detention before
-i am on honor probabtion (not my fault though...im an honest good kid, i promise)
-Mrs. Zingarelli was the only thing that got me through school everyday this year without breaking down, and for this, she is my hero
-I dont like my body, i dont hate it, but im totally secure with it, for the most part...
-i forget to floss
-i shower way too often
-Im extemely sensitive (mentally)
-I can tolerate pain fairly well
-I'm embarassed to go outside of my house until i get my hair fixed
-i sometimes bite my toungue
-I want to be in the FBI, but i know that wont happen
-I used to be really shy, and now im average
-when i get tired, i talk out of my ass and cant shut up
-i dont like to drink
-i heart hooka
-I like feeling like a rebel, even though im not
-i try not to conform to "the wave" (thoreau, or Emerson, I forget), but its sometimes easier too
-Lindsay Lohan's charactar in the film "Mean Girls" is a hero. She broke the different cliques in her school, something never done before
-i hate how there are different cliques. I hate popularity. I dont understand why everybody cannot be friends
-Middle school was the worst time in my life
-Highschools pretty shitty also
-I NEED to get into University of Florida
-I need to stop spending money
-I love lingere shopping, although I dont really show it to anybody when its on me
-I like when boys kiss my neck and forehead, that turns me on more than anything
-I hate my school, even though I realized the other day that its the best place for me
-I love my friends, and sometimes take them for grantid.
All my flaws come together and form a perfect person. Well, not perfect, but someone I love and am proud of. ME!
Never be afraid to be yourself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|10:27 am] |
SUMMER VACATION HAS OFFICIALLY STARTED! (it technically started on wednesday but for me its now because the SAT's are OVER!) SARAHS HERE TOMMOROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HEART SARAH SMALL MORE THAN MY CAT! wooohooo!
<3 Haley |
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| aaah |
[May. 29th, 2005|03:13 am] |
omg im freaking out because of the sat's this coming saturday. I think Id rather die then take that test. aaaaah. people say its just a test, but its really not. It determines the next 4 years of your life. gaaah and wen you come from a school like Saint Andrews...anything under a 1300 is bad.
Anyways, Ive had an AWESOME weekend so far. Only one more exam and then its summer vacation.
But I really dont consider it summer vacation until after the Sat on June 4. |
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| lalala |
[May. 21st, 2005|05:31 pm] |
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I dont know what to write. im considering deleting this journal. i dont know what i should do. anyways. im really happy at the moment. no specific reason. actually there is. anyways i got 2 new cd's today. From first to last and Anberlin. woot. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2005|07:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Marcy Playground | ] |
Today was really sad/happy at the same time.
I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.
I feel good because today I getting my lip pierced! Finally! Mom said I could and she's signed the forms and EVERYTHING! That was only to butter me up, because then she told me that we're moving to Iowa because my dad invested in some potato feilds. I'm surprisingly not going to miss anyone.
I'm so happy. I just found out that I have been accepted into Harvard And Yale for fall 2006 already, even though I am only a junior. I don't know which to choose... oh, why is life so hard sometimes?
Last night I had to go and pay Joshua's bail. He's such a jerk. He got arrested for punching the Walmart clerk in the face for refusing to sell him beer. He's only 16!
I want to tell the world that I am a bullimic and have exersize anorexia.
I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail. yes...I do work.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.
I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.
Everything and Everyone smells. Or maybe its just my nose that smells?
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this poem I wrote. It's about my friend Robert, who has bipolar disorder. Just like me. And Heidi. |
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| gaaah |
[May. 6th, 2005|10:20 am] |
The world seriously needs to die. Or I just need to switch schools. Everything around me is rotting. My effort and desire to do anything is gone, my care for everything is gone, and the people at my school just make me want to puke. Atleast Im gone in a year. I'll still be in Florida but it will be very different.
p.s. on a lighter note, I love Krista! She is aweome. (she doesnt go to my school therefore she doesnt make me want to puke) |
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| friends. |
[May. 1st, 2005|03:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hurt | ] |
| [ | music |
| | turtle filter | ] |
Another friend lost. But this time, its my decision. |
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| Uh Oh! |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|11:05 am] |
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Last night I went to a party and a guy gave me a shot and lit it on fire. He was dumb because he filled the shot glass up with alcohol all the way to the top. I was supposed to blow it out right before i drank it...right? and so i did...the alcohol got on to my hand, and my hand lit on fire. I tried to blow it out but it just spread to my other hand. Both of my hands were blue for a good amount of time (15 seconds ish). I tried to blow them out and i dropped the glass which was on fire. Some got onto a chair and the chair and flames were on the chair. There was fire on the floor. Luckily, we were able to put it out, but how embarassing is that. It was like all these kids from American Heritage. They must think im a loser! haha. thatss okay. And everyone kept talking about it for a relle long time. Random people that Ive never seen in my life just kept coming up to me saying "omg are u okay!?" My right hand is soo messed up. THere are blisters all over it and they sting like bitches. Atleast my skins not like burnt off. It was the scariest 30 seconds of my life. Being on fire, not the yellow part, but the blue part. The hot part! aaaaaaaaaah!!!!! |
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| Lies |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|07:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | silence | ] |
I love you so much but how can I beleive anything you've ever said? How can I? How do I know you havent been lying to me about everything when you've done this. Maybe you dont think its that big of a deal, but to me it is. It's dissapointing and hurtful not only to yourself, but to me. I need you there for me, and what you dont realize is that your not going to be after this. You hurt yourself when you do things like this, but you hurt me too, even when your action had absolutely nothing to do with me.
I love you, just don't lie. Your only hurting yourself (and me). |
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| friends |
[Apr. 17th, 2005|06:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Emo/betrayed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Academy Is | ] |
Have you ever stopped and wondered that maybe the friends you think you have aren't really your friends to begin with. People give false vibes. When a friendship that you respected so much turns out to mean absolutely nothing to the other person, you just want to kick them in the face and never talk to them again, but theres always that sympathy that your heart keeps inside. Well its happened too many times, and from now on im just going to be a bitch. I dont care any more. I just cant wait to graduate. Only one more year and im out of here, leaving all the fake people behind. I've lost too many friends over the years, but ive finally come to realize that I dont need them. Im better than them because I have something they dont have: loyalty. |
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| ehh |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|04:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | straylight run | ] |
I dont mean to be all emo and shit but things have been bothering me lately. I mean, livejournals are usually for people to express their complaints so people feel bad for them right? well what im saying is not intended to do so, I just wanna know if people feel the same way as me sometimes, meaning, am I normal? Sometimes, I just really wish something bad would happen to me, I would get hurt or something, or something close to me would get hurt, only to see if the very people I care about so dearly feel the same for me. I keep thinking, would this person care in the slightist bit if I got hurt or died? Would they even come to my funeral. I dont know, am i a emo freak for thinking this? its just the only way to really tell if someone cares about you. I mean, comeone, are people really happy when other people are happy? Theres always those gealous people out there right. But, if you were to die, things change, everything flips around. happiness separates people apart while sadness and tragedy brings people close together. ironic isnt it? |
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| Friends |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|05:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sAVE fERRIS | ] |
Did I mention that I love my friends!!!!!!
I LOVE MY FRIENDS! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2005|02:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Frou Frou | ] |
Everyone is afraid of something. Some people are afraid of the dark. Some people are scared of everything...like Devin. (lol) I finally realized what Im afraid of. I know Im only 16, but Im afraid of dying without the experience of love. Im afraid to die out of love. |
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| -wow- |
[Mar. 24th, 2005|08:31 am] |
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haha OMG! last nite was ridiculously fun. hmm wat did I do. Well, Christine came over, we chilled for a lil, and then we met Krista for dinner where Eitan Works! haha. that was funny. And then Dirty came to the resturaunt and was actin weird, lol, but then he made up with Christine and everyting was okay again. Later, I told them to come to my pool in my neighborhood for some hot tubbin and skinny dippin. haha. Christine went to Omar and got stuff. woot. So the guys came over at 11:30 ish and we went from there. haha. we chilled at the pool for like 3 hoursish, went skinny dippin. haha. Then the guard came. Luckily we through out all the drinks. He took down our names and my address, but watever, im not worried about it. Then we went to my house and chilled. haha. my parents were sleeping and my sister was sleepin at my grandparents. Krista fell asleep early, and ryan and eitan left around 4:30 ish...haha...the paper guy came. ive never actually stayed up for the paper guy to come. We went outside and I relle like hugging people. haha. so I hugged everyone, and hugged again, and thenw wanted to hug more. hahaha. I love hugs! it was a really fun/nice night considering we havent all spent time together in like forever. alrite. im relle sick and nauseaus now and christines still sleepin. Krista left for work early. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 22nd, 2005|07:58 pm] |
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So far vacation has been awesome. Every day so far has been somewhat random, and thats wat im aiming for. Something new and exciting everyday. Lets see, Friday night, I dont remember what I did. Saturday, I went to the beach with Jackie and Josh and then went to Cheeburgur Cheebugur for the first time..haha. it was fun. Sunday I made a surprise visit alone to my grandparents house. they were sooo happy. Then I visited my friend Matt and we went to the puppy store! AMAZING! then we saw the movie "pacifire" it was cute. umm, Monday was awesome. I went out with Ruthie and Taylor and picked up these three guys and one of them was Super cute and we have a lot in common and i got his number so well see where that goes. Today was fun too. I went to Ryans for like a half hour, that was nice. then i went to sat:(. Tonight I went to Mikes house wit Dev. that was cool. and now im here. Everyday has had something fun:) so far. |
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| yeah |
[Mar. 6th, 2005|10:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | deathcab for cute | ] |
you have everything in the world and you throw it all away... |
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